Two Books That Totally Changed How I See Money (and Motherhood)
I thought learning about money would just mean budgeting better.
I had no idea it would end up reshaping how I live, how I parent, and what I want most for my family.
When I first started learning about money and Financial Independence (FI), it was just me—and maybe the idea of one or two kids someday.
I had no idea that a few years down the track, I’d be raising five.
Life looks a little different when you’re building a simple, free life with a big family in tow.
But even as my life changed, there are two classic money books I keep coming back to.
They didn’t just shape how I manage money.
They changed how I think about time, freedom, and what I really want to pass on to my kids.
There are loads of good personal finance books out there these days—more than ever, really.
But if you asked me which ones made the biggest impact, I’d still pick the same two every time: Your Money or Your Life and The Millionaire Next Door.
They’ve been around a long time.
I’ve been part of the FI world for over 15 years now, and even when I started, these two were already old classics.
But the thing is, they’re still relevant.
I’ve read them multiple times and every time, they hit home again.
Why? Because they aren’t just telling you how to get rich or what to invest in.
They’re about why you’d even bother with Financial Independence in the first place.
And if you don’t know your why, trust me—the how won’t matter.
You’ll get pulled off course the moment something shiny comes along.
When you’ve got your why sorted, the how takes care of itself.
And it should change!
When I first started this journey, low-cost index funds (which are the bread and butter of FI investing now) literally weren’t even available in New Zealand.
You had to work with what you had.
And guess what? That’s still true today.
The tools might change. Your why doesn’t.
It also helps when the world keeps waving “opportunities” in your face.
Property investing is basically a national sport here in New Zealand.
Every so often, I’ll catch myself daydreaming about buying a rental property or flipping a house.
But then I come back to my why—and I remember why I chose a different path.
And just like that, the daydream fades.
Two Ideas That Still Stick With Me
There are two ideas in particular from these books that have really stuck with me:
1. Your Money or Your Life: How Much of Your Life Are You Spending?
This book completely changed the way I think about money.
Instead of just looking at the price tag, you start asking: how many hours of my life is this going to cost me?
Not based on your salary number—the real number, after tax, after commuting, after all the actual costs of working.
Suddenly that $100 dinner out (which barely covers dinner these days) doesn’t seem so casual when you realise it’s four hours of your life you’re handing over.
And the big stuff? Even worse.
That $70,000 car everyone’s drooling over?
That’s a year of your life gone.
Maybe more.
Personally, there are very few things in life I’m willing to swap a whole year of freedom for—and a shiny new car isn’t one of them.
2. The Millionaire Next Door: Why I’m Not Planning to Fund My Adult Kids
The other idea that hit me square between the eyes was “economic outpatient care”—the idea that lots of parents keep financially supporting their kids well into adulthood.
Sounds generous, right?
But actually, the book makes a really strong case for why it often does more harm than good.
As a mum of five (yes, five! We get comments everywhere we go), this landed hard for me.
Not only would ongoing support be financially tricky simply because we’ve got more kids than the average family—it could also bring with it unintended consequences for my kids.
The FI world talks a lot about “one more year syndrome”—the idea that you’ll just work one more year, just save a little bit more.
But when you start feeling like you need to save enough for your kids’ futures too?
That “one more year” can turn into five, ten, twenty.
That’s not the life I’m building.
Instead, I’m putting the energy into teaching my kids about money now, while they’re growing up.
Setting them up so they can build their own lives—without me feeling like I have to bankroll them forever.
Final Thoughts
If you’re serious about Financial Independence—or even just want to get smarter about money—Your Money or Your Life and The Millionaire Next Door are absolutely worth your time.
They’ll get you thinking differently.
And honestly, once you start thinking differently, everything else follows.
If you’ve got a favourite money or FI book, let me know!
I’m always up for a good recommendation (and an excuse to add to my reading pile).
From my (very full) kitchen table to yours —
building a life of financial independence, one nature walk, library book, and loud family dinner at a time.
— Bronwyn
Photo by Alexandra Fuller on Unsplash